Course description

Do you say yes when you mean no, stay quiet in meetings, or lie awake replaying what you wish you'd said? Assertiveness is a skill, not a personality type, and you can learn it. This course shows you how to say what you mean calmly and honestly, set boundaries that stick, and ask for what you need, while still being kind to the people around you.

It's a full course, not a quick tour. There are 10 sections and 50 written lessons, each with clear steps, example words you can actually use and a short exercise. You follow a payroll officer in Kettering who has said yes to everyone for years, as she learns to say no to her manager, her sister and her best friend, and compares where she started with where she is five months later. Every section has a worksheet, model answers, a cheat sheet and ready-made planners, phrase cards and scripts.

What you'll learn

• Foundations: the four communication styles, your everyday rights, knowing what you want, and calming the thoughts and reactions that keep you quiet.
• Core techniques: "I" statements, the broken record, fogging, workable compromise and planning what to say with a DESC script.
• Saying no and boundaries: ways to say no, buying time, saying no at work and at home, and setting and holding boundaries, including with phones and messages.
• Asking for what you want: clear requests, asking for help, asking for changes at work, speaking up in meetings and complaining as a customer.
• Criticism and tricky situations: taking criticism, handling put-downs, giving feedback, accepting praise, pushy people, interruptions, anger and difficult emails.
• Confidence that lasts: kinder self-talk, practising in small steps, dealing with guilt and setbacks, and looking after yourself.

Who it's for

Anyone who finds it hard to speak up, say no or ask for what they need, at work, at home or with friends. It ends with a final project: your own assertiveness plan, a rehearsed real conversation and a 12-week practice plan. This is a self-help skills course, not therapy or legal advice, and it explains where to get help if you need more support.

What will I learn?

• Recognise passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive and assertive styles in yourself and others
• Notice the thoughts and reactions that keep you quiet, and calm yourself before you answer
• Use ‘I’ statements, the broken record, fogging, compromise and DESC scripts
• Say no clearly and kindly at work, with family and with friends
• Set boundaries, hold them when pushed, and know when a problem is more than assertiveness
• Ask for help, for changes at work and for your rights as a customer
• Handle criticism, put-downs, interruptions, anger and pushy people calmly
• Build a personal plan and practise real conversations so the changes last

Frequently asked questions