Course description

Would you speak to a good friend the way you speak to yourself when things go wrong? If you're quick to blame yourself, slow to rest and the last person you look after, this course is for you. It helps you notice your inner critic, find a kinder voice, and treat yourself with the same care you give others, especially when life is hard. It's written in plain, warm language, at your own pace, and it follows on well from a mindfulness course.

There are 10 sections and 50 written lessons, and each one ends with a short, practical exercise. You follow Nusrat, a medical secretary in Bradford, through the year after her mum's stroke: a mistake at work and a critic she named the Inspector, a stalled study unit and a kinder plan, a moment of shame and an apology, a week off with flu, a carer's assessment, a kind letter, a day at the seaside, a fairer rota with her brother, a setback in the autumn and the self-compassion plan she wrote at the end. Every section has a practice pack with a worksheet, example answers, a cheat sheet and printable tools, including a reflection check-in, a help contacts card, two original diagrams, a critic log, a refuel list, a good-enough planner, journal pages, a pocket card of short practices and a self-compassion plan template.

What you'll learn

• Getting started: what self-compassion is and isn't, the three parts that research describes, how it differs from self-esteem, your safety net of GP, talking therapies and urgent help in each UK nation, and a reflection check-in in your own words.
• The inner critic: what your critic says and how it sounds, what it may be trying to do, a two-week critic log, the friend question and the coach line, and answering the critic kindly day to day.
• Motivation through kindness: why fear-driven self-talk costs so much, taking responsibility without punishment, encouraging yourself like a good coach, and starting again after a slip.
• Comparison and shame: why comparison stings, online and in real life, the difference between shame and guilt, meeting shame with care, and remembering you're not the only one.
• Self-compassion in hard moments: kindness after mistakes and setbacks, when you're unwell and when you're caring for someone, with an outline of caregiver fatigue and where carers can get support.
• Perfectionism and body kindness: high standards versus harsh standards, the good-enough line, putting things off, and a careful introduction to treating your body kindly, with no talk of size, numbers or eating plans.
• Kind letters and journaling: writing a kind letter to yourself, the friend's letter and the future-self letter, a short end-of-day journal called the evening three, and looking after yourself as you write.
• Short practices for daily life: the kind pause, small moments of kindness in your day, short phrases that fit you, rest and breaks, and building kind cues into your routine.
• Boundaries and saying no kindly: why limits are an act of self-compassion, noticing when you give too much, saying no in a way that's clear, warm and short, guilt afterwards, and boundaries with yourself.
• Building a lasting habit: looking back on what's changed, how habits form, starting again when practice slips, your own self-compassion plan as a final project, and keeping it going.

Who it's for

Adults who are hard on themselves, including people who care for others, people living with perfectionism, and anyone who has done some mindfulness and wants to turn that kindness towards themselves. You don't need any previous knowledge or experience of meditation.

What this course is, and isn't

This course is education and self-help for your wellbeing. It isn't therapy or treatment, it isn't a version of any branded or trademarked programme, and it doesn't replace care from a GP or mental health professional. It explains how to get help through your GP and NHS Talking Therapies, with the routes for England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland, and what to do if you ever need help urgently. If you feel you might harm yourself, or you can't keep yourself or someone else safe, call 999 or go to A&E now.

What will I learn?

• Explain what self-compassion is and isn’t, and how it differs from self-esteem
• Notice your inner critic, understand what it may be trying to do and answer it more kindly
• Motivate yourself through encouragement rather than fear, and start again kindly after a slip
• Recognise comparison and shame, and meet them with care and a sense of common humanity
• Be kinder to yourself after mistakes and setbacks, when you’re unwell and when you’re caring for someone
• Ease perfectionism with a good-enough line, and treat your body with more kindness
• Write a kind letter to yourself and keep a short end-of-day journal
• Use short practices such as the kind pause, kind phrases and kind cues in everyday life
• Set boundaries, say no in a way that’s clear, warm and short, and handle guilt afterwards
• Write your own self-compassion plan and keep the habit going after the course

Frequently asked questions